Oh no.
I'm just a wee bit offended, guys.
I did a little bit (read: a fuckton bookoo assload) of research.
How ever, back in the early 2000's, I was one of the only kids that didn't have internet. Or a computer for that matter.
So what did I rely on for my studies?
That's right, kids.
Look at that magnificent son of a bitch.
A true marvel of human stupidity.
I didn't know it at the time, but the plethora of information contained within this pliable pamphlet would shape the way I viewed everything about the game. For better or worse.
Mostly worse.
I read it cover to cover during classes in high school. This was my bible. Brady was my God, blessed be his name. Allahu Akbrady.
I read about all the places I could visit. All the quests. All the monsters I could fight. All the jobs.
Sweet Brady of Games, the jobs. Millions of them. Advanced jobs. Sub jobs. Part-time jobs. Hand jobs. My head was spinning. I read each description carefully, despite the fact that when Brady was writing this guide, he decided after all was said and done to throw up his arms and yell "Fuck it!" while he dragged his ass cheeks across each page while rubbing money on his seven nipples.
But nonetheless, I carefully weighed the pros and retarded cons of each combination of jobs that were written out for me.
Pretty sure I gave more thought to what I would be in this fucking game than what I would do after high school.
When I first saw the picture of a Samurai woman in her underwear with a big ass katana killing a red bird, I was like "Yes. I want to be this." Everything about that job appealed to me. Murdering shit while quickly building TP to murder said shit even faster.
Yes. Shit murdering was fun.
But then I read what Brady had written about the job combinations. Apparantly Dragoon/Samurai was a fucknipple ton better at shit murdering. Also, you got a pet dragon to help with the murdering of shit!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I decided, even before I got the game, that Dragoon/Samurai was the path I would walk. This meant leveling Samurai high enough to be a viable sub job forever, then unlocking Dragoon and leveling that forever. Manaseph advised me it would take a long time, but I was determined to be the best Dragoon/Samurai on the server.
Ever.
As many of you know, the weapon of choice for any intelligent Dragoon is the spear. A strong weapon for the strongest of sexy.
So naturally, once the game was in my possession and the addiction was fused to my soul, I decided to level my polearm skill ahead of time with my warrior.
It seemed to be going well.
Penis monsters were dropping faster than I can shake a wiener pun at. Goblins rued the day they ever stabbed my butthole. Quadav were... Dying a lot.
The polearm was strong. And all was right with the world.
Until I reached level 10.
Everyone who played back then just let out the biggest sigh and probably had Vietnam-style flashbacks.
For those of you that don't know, leveling solo slowed way down once you hit level 10, and monsters stopped being easy to kill. They jumped waaay up in difficulty and the only viable way to level from then on was to form parties with random people and work together as a unit, using the knowledge they have gained of their respective jobs to defeat anything that stands in their path.
Everyone who played back then is now laughing.
Valkurm Dunes was where teamwork went to die. This is where YOU learned and grew as a person, but everyone else just got stupider and stupider in their desperation to fill party slots.
Red Mage tank? Sure! Black Mage Healer? Why the fuck not. One healer and 5 DD agreeing to "bounce hate around"? This will work.
My very first party in the dunes, I had no idea what I was doing. I went in, spear in hand, the bloodlust twinkling in my eye, and was promptly asked if I had a shield and sword because I was going to be tanking.
Calmly, but firmly, I explained my plan to eventually become a Dragoon, so I was taking the intelligent approach to raise my polearm skill now instead of dealing par damage once I unlocked my new job, you fucking morons.
I was kicked from the party.
But luckily, warriors are welcome in any party, and I was picked up rather quickly.
Yes. I could finally use my polearm to raise the skill that would eventually make me a master of my future-
What's that you say? A greatsword? No I don't have a greatsword. I'm trying to skill up polearm for when I unlock Drago-
So I was lent a greatsword and watched as my character dealt 0's and misses, with the occasional critical hit for 1 damage.
Woohoo.
And all the while, the party was telling me I should go back and skill up greatsword because it's sooooo much better.
Fuck everyone.
After that party was over, I had barely got past level 14 and was beginning to get exasperated when I was invited to another party. Right off the bat, I let them know I was skilling up polearm for the future dragon tamer that I was. They all said it was cool.
Wait. Really? I actually get to do what I want? And everyone's okay with it?
I think my character jumped up in the air and clicked his heels together.
So I ran to the beach where my new party was to find 7 people huddled in the corner. I asked who these two guys in the awesome armor were, and was educated on what a Power Leveler was.
This party was going to let me skill up polearm, and had not one, but TWO PL's?
I cried a little. And laughed a lot as I murdered pugils and goblins.
It was glorious.
Two from the party, Selenas and Billiam, I remained friends with for a long time until we lost touch with each other over the years. Guys, if you're still out there somewhere, drop me a line. Would love to talk to you again.
Eventually, I made it out of the dunes alive, only to go back there once Manaseph helped me unlock my sub job.
The second time, I was ready. I was fucking rocking MNK/WAR and punching bitches in the face. Good times were had by all.
Except the bitches.
They got punched.
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