Please, sit down.
Would you like some cake?
Did you bring some cake?
Next time, bring cake.
Now, you may be asking yourself, "Why is this guy writing about stuff that happened in a crappy game that was released 14 years ago?"
Just shut up and listen. I have my reasons.
Gawd.
Mainly, I am making this blog to sort of preserve the memories I have gained over the course of playing. 10 years of playing. I made a shit ton of memories with an even shittier ton of friends, so if your name happens to pop up on here, drop me a line, bitch. We'll catch up.
When this game first came out, it was amazing. I was hooked. I played that shit literally all day. And I use 'literally' literally.
I woke up in the morning and played. I fell asleep playing. I only stopped playing for food and the occasional poop.
Always with the pooping.
I think I forgot what the sun looked like at one point.
Oh and the parents. I had parents I think. I might have seen them between parties.
I'm currently playing FFXIV, but it lacks something that FFXI had.
It's an awesome game, don't get me wrong. But there's something missing. Everyone I talk to seems to think the same, but we can't quite put our fingers on it.
Finger it, if you will.
Can't finger that shit.
I'm hoping to discover what it might be by sharing the memories I had here.
So, a little background.
I hadn't really played MMORPGs before I got into FFXI. I played Phantasy Star Online for Dreamcast, and I was hooked on that shit as well. Ranger for lyfe, wurd yolo.
Hollywood Video had the PS2 version for sale around Christmas time in 2004. The game had been around North America for over a year then, and a high school friend of mine, Manaseph, had been going on and on about it so I decided to give it a try.
By "try" I mean instant hardcore intravenous addiction. Drug PSAs did not prepare me for this. The Brady guide did not prepare me for this.
This game was huge. PSO had got me used to the whole lobby thing, so an open world online game was very new to me.
I could actually do things!
Like run North forever!
My first memories were starting out as a warrior in Bastok. Sprinting out of the gate, sword in hand, fighting worms. Auto-attack was new to me as well, so my first fight consisted of me yelling "Get him! Fuck him up!" at the screen as my character swung aimlessly at a very phallic mass of pixels, and screaming "Fucking shit!" as a goblin opened up another asshole in my chest area.
Good times.
I remember this person named Goldflare. She would always stand under a tree with her bazaar open selling stuff I couldn't afford. I would always wave, and she would always wave back.
Even as a n00b, the ladies couldn't resist me.
Starting off, I didn't have a keyboard, so my communication was limited to macros that I didn't know how to use, and the onscreen keyboard, which worked as well as Caitlyn Jenner's vagina.
Talking to people online wasn't anything I had experience with, so when I did type, it would be something retarded like "Falafel" or "Gorbachev" and I thought that was soooooooooo lol.
Everyone probably thought I was mentally handicapped.
Or a WoW player.
Same thing, basically.
When I did finally get a keyboard, it opened up a whole new world of retardation. Mainly, because I was unfamiliar with the / commands, so everything was in /say. Including the information about me having to shit or letting someone know how my penis was doing at that moment.
To this day, I'm pretty sure I was the sole reason Japanese players hated Americans.
That and the penis sizes.
/say NA penis is bigger lol
There are a ton of memories to go through, so I will post everything as I remember it.
If you have any questions or comments, please send them my way.
If not, fuck you, share my blog.
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