Crappy Monday!

Hey, everyone. Here's a shocker: Mondays suck.

This Monday in particulars. Someone somewhere has angered a Jotun tribe and now Louisiana is covered in permafrost. Plus I had to work today.

Eww.

So I got to thinking about stuff while I was mindlessly pooping in the portable toilet. I give a lot of crap to Valkurm Dunes for being such a shitty place. But, pray tell, is the second most shittiest place in all of FFXI?

Well, I have the answer for you. Brace yourselves, because it may shock you to the point of cardiac arrest. Are you ready? Is your soul ready? It probably isn't.

The second most shittiest place in all of FFXI is

*drum roll*

Labyrinth of Onzozo

That's right, the place your mind repressed because it was a horrible decision to make when Crawler's Nest was too full. If professor Lupin opened a wardrobe and told you to think of your second worst fear, out would pop a cockatrice that would immediately petrify your healer.

Every. Single. Time.

This is disregarding Garlaige Citadel and possibly even Altepa Desert, although Altepa comes in as a close third. I have had decent to very-greatly-decent luck with both Garlaige and Altepa. Yet what Onzozo has going for it is the pure fuckery of the mobs placed within.

If you somehow have decent memories of this place, then fuckin' good for you. I had zero luck with parties here. For starters, cockatrice were a bitch. As stated before, they would do a petrifying gaze that would make you more stoned than a white dude with dreads at a Ziggy Marley concert.

Not to mention the fact that there was only one spot you could party, but, there was only one spot you could party. If some other group got the same retarded hair up their ass and decided to camp on top of you, you're fucked. There were not enough monsters to support more than a single party at a time. If you zone in and someone else is there, disband the party and uninstall the game. By the time you take a long hard look at your life, think about the horrible decision you made to come to that Godsforsaken place, then reinstall the game while praying to the heavens above for mercy, maybe the party might have realized their decision was horrible too and logged off.

What made this camp extra sucky was the fact it was designed for about level 38ish, just shy of every job getting their best abilities that would actually make that work. But by the time that happens, the exp drops off and everyone wants to die. And if you decide to go searching for harder pray, you're in luck, because the levels jump up like crazy the deeper you go until you're neck deep in a Goblin Alchemist's ass and your best friend aggroes Ose.

Good times.

Altepa Desert deserves mention because while the camp around the big ass mountain is viable and a cool place to take screenshots, it ends up being a random clusterfuck of stupidity as people spread out looking for the beetles that spawn miles apart. Anticans take up way too much time when you try to exp off them, and you're plainly just better off going somewhere else.

Like Crawler's Nest.

Crawler's Nest has to be the best place to level from 35 to infinity. The monster levels go up in tolerable intervals as you travel deeper, so pretty much every room is viable. Stick with that, and you'll go far, kid.