Freeday

Happy Friday, everyone!

Because I am a generous God and I have the day off work, I have decided to bestow upon you a Friday Insider Edition. I know I've been slacking on them (read: haven't been doing them at all), so I will give you, the readers, what you come here for. But on this very special FIE, there will be very little bitching.

You read that correctly. A post with only a few grams of bitching.

You're welcome.

So, the past few days I have been playing this game on ps4 called Warframe. And it's honestly been pretty fun. It's a sci-fi murdering game, two things I love. You start off by picking one of three classes, then go through the tutorial that teaches you many ways to murder shit, along with giving you base weapons to murder said shit.

I chose to shoot everything in the face. It's what I do.

It's a very simple game, populated by twelve-year-olds who like to sing Smashmouth while you're trying to complete mission objectives, such as shooting someone in the face, or getting a special item from a guy you just shot in the face. Good times.

In its simplicity, I have noticed a similarity to Phantasy Star Online. For one, it's a sci-fi game where you go on a planet and holocaust the inhabitants while looking for a new gun. It also has a central hub like PSO. Pick a mission, go to the planet, beam back up. Rinse repeat.

There are robotic spells, rifles, melee weapons, and little buddies that fly over your shoulder like MAGs. It's very reminiscent of when I was a shit murdering hunter back on Ragol.

I was having a blast.

Then I got to thinkin' with my brain. It hurt.

Sega, if you're reading this, (and I know you do, guys. You can't hide from me) if you want to make money right this second, re-release oldschool PSO with updated graphics. Change nothing except the polygons and you will make money from nostalgia.

You could probably get away with not even updating the maps. Just have a really high-rendered character running around 480p environments.

Also throw in some new weapons, or something. It would be awesome if you did, guys.

As much fun as PSO2 was, I don't see myself playing it more than once an equinox. The reason is, and I don't want to describe it with the word "Japanese", but it's... Really fucking Japanese. Kawaii desu-ne to the max.

Which might be your thing. It's ok. You might be one of the guys that mod Skyrim to have anime-schoolgirl-dragon-chimera running amok. And that's ok. Weird, but ok.

But me, I like my shit-murdering face-shooting fun to be as bland as possible. It's the American way.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a 5:00 appointment to listen to some kid sing Backstreet Boys songs to the rhythm of a machine gun.

A usual Friday for me.