Raining Blood

So, a little while ago, Samurai was announced as a new job to accompany Red Mage in the new XIV expansion, Stormblood, along with a Japanese- themed housing area.

Odin help us all.

As expected, my XIV group on Facebook has been flooded with videos of neck-bearded cringlords wielding katanas, Last Samurai quotes, Japanese proverbs, and random Samurai Jack clips. What a time to be alive. Or dead. Yes, I would rather dead. This is why I drink, people.

Do I think XIV can come close to the majesty of XI's Samurai? Probably. It looks decent. The only thing I personally don't like are the flowery skirts. When i strap on a katana, I want some gods damned armor on my ass. I'm not going into battle wearing a bath robe. Remember the Hachiman set? Shit was fucking kick ass. Even eight years after it was added, it's still being used to moisten Mithran loincloths.

At least, that's what I mainly used it for.

Ladies.

Samurai will also have charge attacks this time around, which sounds amazing until you think of all the retarded macros people are going to be making.

Cloud Edgelord begins charging his ultimate attack.
Cloud Edgelord: Oh great katana Sashimi-kun, with which I have infused my soul, grant me the power of my ancestors to guide thy blade into thine foe's komodo.
Cloud Edgelord removes his katana Sashimi-kum from its ethereal confines.
Cloud Edgelord: May release of death be your only salvation! HYPER KENSEI BLADE STRIKE!!!!!
Cloud Edgelord's attack misses.

I guarantee you that shit will happen. I will post in real time whenever I spot a Samurai macro that makes me cringe. I promise.

So with all these Samurai masters and weeb lords popping up since its announcement, will I be giving Samurai a go in a few months?

Short answer; fuck yes.

Long answer; fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck yessssssssssssssssssssss.

I'm going to be a nostalgia faggot so hard, it will be creepy. It will be fun to make fun of everyone while I murder shit with my huge ass katana while people gasp at my other huge ass katana. My penis, if that wasn't clear. Protect your ovaries, sexually attractive females. Asrail is coming back in full force.

Almost makes me want to jump back on XI.

Almost.